Broadway's "SCREAMINGLY GOOD FUN!" (Variety) musical comedy is now haunting houses all across the country!Based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film, BEETLEJUICE tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing for stripes. Guy talk howd you do it? ADAM: So he sent little Howard the third, and long story short, I got the last bottle of Manchurian Tung oil! Beetle..(bj covers her mouth) BJ: She's a little nervous. Maybe, we can help each other! (a beat.) ADAM: Well that wasnt very nice. Youre under so much stress, you must relax! I gotta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh! If you're a fan of Beetlejuice the Musical on Broadway, then you probably know Elizabeth Teeter. Whatd you do!? LYDIA: Dad came back for me? We mostly just watched and drank wine. Were going to play a little game! You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! This book is dangerous! Ill just ask Adam and Barbara. Shes definitely done some stuff, I can tell. You give mea bonerhere, its a femur. All you gotta do is say my name. CHARLES: LOOK AT ME! ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. LYDIA: You know what? BEETLEJUICE: Back off, Mom! CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! BARBARA: Adam, thats not why she doesnt like it here. I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. Did I mention that my moms a demon? LYDIA: I can't keep living like this! You'll know that I've abandoned hope. Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. (Smokes.) The happiness is completely gone, and that just makes me really sad. Also, no liquids! TELL MY STORYY! (a beat.) This . LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? This was an excuse to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife simps. DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. What an effervescent young lady you are. CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! And that is exactly how we can beat him. CHARLES: Because it hurts too much! Sometimes puppet shows are sad. MAXINE: OH STOP! Sucks-Yes! : 1) Lollapalooza -- Created in 1991 as a farewell tour for Perry Farrell's band, it ran annually until 1997, and was revived in 2003. BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. But, if youre going to live like a ghost, you have to follow the rules. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2018, prior to opening on Broadway at the Winter Garden Theatre on April 25, 2019. Dead Mom loved our house. BARBARA: Adam! Beebleboose! Yes book? In Michael McDowell's script, the adorable Maitlands' death scene is quite graphic and traumatic they get trapped in a car and scream to no avail as they're shown slowly drowning. Home Explore Songbook Top Artists Groups Apps Get VIP. ADAM Hey old girl! Netherworld. ", AND SHE'LL BE LIKE "OH, NOTHIN' JUST RUNNING THE WORLD.". DELIA: (aggressive.) LYDIA: Im alone. CHARLES: Youre right. *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! Leave this house! Scripture tells us, Sorrow not. THE THREE OF US ALONE CAN WRECK DAD'S EVENING, YEAH, I GOT GAME! Sorry! BEETLEJUICE: Theyre taking it to the dump and without me theyre going to do that to everything! Very good energy. For decades, there's been talk about making a "Beetlejuice" sequel, but in the early '90s screenwriter Jonathan Gem wrote an entire script for a follow-up (via Far Out Magazine). ADAM: Oh yeah? OUR TROUBLES ALL ENDED ON THE DAY THAT WE BEFRIENDED HIM. JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. Just put me in the game. SCIENCE MAKES NO SENSE WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE? AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS MY ANGER BECAUSE AS A SOCIETY WE DONT TEACH MEN HOW TO PROCESS THEIR ANGER, SO MAYBE ILL JUST TRYMURDER! But I (a beat.) Youre still breathing arent you? Well its a lot bigger on the inside! Upgrade to PRO Sign Up for PRO to view suggested audition pieces! Can I see? Betelgeuse , Beetlejuice. Delia! BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! ADAM: Woah. Welcome to the family, son. Im on your side, and I always will be. (a beat.) ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! They become caught up in the supernatural elements and try to get Lydia to realize what she really needs the most. Im invisible. I brought you a pie?! BEETLEJUICE: Why do you gotta be so hard on me, Mom? CHARLES: Hey! GET OUTTA MY WAY. Who knows what hes done to Lydia! Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. Mr. The two of you need to hire me right now. Oh god, Im so worried now. ONE DAY YOU MAY WAKE UP ALONE, DELIA: 'CAUSE YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS BOYFRIEND BOUGHT A BOAT AND THEN THEY SAILED AWAY TO ROME, DELIA: SO YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP IN DEEP DESPAIR, TALKIN' TO THE WALLS 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE, 'CAUSE THAT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A FAMILY, THAT YOUR AGING ASS WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT , A LITTLE "I AM STILL YOUNG!!!" Im a fraud! Ive already been to hell and back. DELIA: AH! BEETLEJUICE: You heard the lady! All recently deceased individuals, form a line! I call it The Soulbox. I died with this sash. BEETLEJUICE Oh, theyre both gonna get it. See that tiny little house up there? DELIA: Yeah! A fall from that height? BARBARA: There are two kinds of people in this world. ", YOUR DADDY SHOULD BE LEAVIN' AND YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, SO, LYDIA, DON'T END YOURSELF DEFEND YOURSELF, GO AHEAD AND JUMP BUT THAT WON'T STOP HIM, I'M ON THE BENCH, BUT COACH JUST PUT ME IN THE GAME. Seeking 2 Actor Team for Spring Hold on! We don't currently have any monologues from Beetlejuice . And then, spring the trap. Just like, what if Im never happy again? (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). Adam, youre boring. I thought I was bringing my mom back! BARBARA Oh, honey. And Ive got a plan! This. BEETLEJUICE: So then, I was like Lets do this! Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! Im Barbara, this is Adam. You know, socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. Maybe the most haunting thing about "Beetlejuice," the new musical version of the 1988 Tim Burton movie that is having its world premiere at the National Theatre, is the creepy feeling of . Beetlejuice is ruder, raunchier and frankly, more repellent than ever in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film. CHARLES:Yes, but we have to move forward! WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? ADAM: Barbara! I dont remember making a fire. BEETLEJUICE: Whered I lose you? And so do I! Okay, chapter one. Bu I had a vision once. BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! I took a very big risk with this place. Its not a fad! LYDIA: Classic Bait and Switch, Oldest trick in the book! Theyre made out of the devil! I don't even like pottery! DELIA: About that. One big dark room. LYDIA: Adam, Barbara? BEETLEJUICE: DON'T YOU WANNA SEE DAD SUFFER? Do the research! BEETLEJUICE: ZOOBY DOOBY DOOBY, DOOBY DOP AND BOW! But youre sexy. ADAM: You know, hate is a very strong word. The musical held its final performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and New York City's biggest . Thats great! Never change! This is amazing! Im bringing my mom back, and none of you can stop me! OTHO: Then lets get to it! OTHO: I dont know. Oh my god! OO! BEETLEJUICE: Well, it doesnt matter if you say it Adam, THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE! I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! Delilah BEETLEJUICE: We didnt hang out much, Charles! Sorry, I dont mean to bore you guys, talking about my mom. Oh my god! LYDIA: I dont know. The man next to me is the one I want. Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. You know, my guru Otho says Depression is like an ugly sweater. It has u but doesnt have a me. BARBARA: I was too! I study death, I think like death, I spent a long holiday weekend in a Red Roof Inn with death! Rule number 1: Dont leave the house. Where is that damned exorcist? BEETLEJUICE: Yeah, Dad! Lydias vision was right! BEETLEJUICE: No. Ah! And Ive got a plan. Maybe nothing has to change. FROM TETRALOGY OF FALLOT IN MY PULMONARY ARTERY! Suggested Audition Pieces Auditioning for Lydia? ADAM: So, crazy story. Lydia, you are so weird. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dance Scenes in '80s Movies. I am utterly alone. This is the best day of my life! MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! So! And that makes me feel oh god, I actually feel! ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? (a beat.) God, why cant he just leave me alone? MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. But, its true, I was kicked in the head by a dressage horse. Prologue: Invisible - Lydia 2. Im going to suck your ghostinto it and trap it there forever!. UNLESS THEY GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES (YES YES, WE'RE FEELIN' IT, THEY'RE GONNA FEEL IT, WE'RE KILLIN' IT! You asked me, I'm answering. Afraid Id marry her? Fine, you wanna be together? Demon's Dance. Stripey Ghost Man? its just like Wah, Wah, Wah Wah Wah Wah. All these feelings. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? LYDIA: Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal, I summon thee with Saturns breath. Theres a Toblerone, a bath bomb, a book youre never going to read. But first, I think it would be so wonderful if our newest family member would make a toast! Dont you wanna get these people out of your house? SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WALK THROUGH SOME WALLS, 'CAUSE ADAM, WE'RE READY AS WE'LL EVER GET, I GOTTA GET RIGHT OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. This is what you get! MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: We come for your daughter, Chuck! I was like, Pick a lane, Bill!. But when angst . BEETLEJUICE: NO! BEETLEJUICE: Hey! 7 a script for the sequel was commissioned. OKAY! We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. Once he realizes this house is haunted, well have to leave! Thats the rule. This is exciting! Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! I like to think I put my own spin on it, but whats the point, you know? JUNO: My name is Juno! Did I hear the dinner bell? The full DC BJ script I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! My first name is Lawrence. Go back to New York! JUNO: Report to processing! I can bring your daddy so much pain. Beetlejuice (v.o) (laughs to himself) you are a naughty man. You know what? Start reading. This house is actually pretty interesting. DELIA: Why thank you, future step-daughter. ADAM: Hang on. Youre leaving me? You see, the living ignore the dead. Now you remember what my guru Otho says! IM TIRED OF TRYIN TO IRON OUT MY CREASES, HE WANTS ME TO SMILE AND CLAP LIKE A PERFORMING SEAL, YOU WONT BELIEVE THE MESS THAT WEVE BECOME, ARE YOU RECEIVING? Lydia doesnt have my resilience. My dad never wants me to talk about her. BARBARA: And Lydia, she cant live like this! Beetlejuice- wedding scene by beetlejuice - Karaoke Lyrics on Smule. Step right up and lets play a game that I like to call RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Call 9-1-1! JUNO: STOP! It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual.'. Barbara, this is our stuff BARBARA: A SHRINE TO THE FEELINGS WE'VE BEEN REPRESSING, BARBARA: UNFINISHED PROJECTS MEANINGLESS OBJECTS. LYDIA: Yeah. BEETLEJUICE: Hi there, ahahaha! No you cant do that! LYDIA: I cant change anything! OH! However, there was no reasoning with the spirit, but Adam and Barbara had a slight advantage in the fact that they weren't stuck in Adam's miniature town. Ill marry you! Its gonna be so good for all of us. Now after you scare them, while theyre still quaking in terror, you make them say this! Then they . Ive learned a lot. Beetlejuice: [covers Lydia's mouth with his hand] She's a little bit nervous. LYDIA: Let me get you some cash for those cookies! Is that why youre wearing those sheets? I am SO sick and tired of being invisible and you, you can change all of that! LYDIA: We gotta get out of here! Lydia, this is a dangerously unstable individual. Just put me in . Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wildest ghost this side of the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. DELIA: Why does this always happen to me? I mean, real ghosts? I hope theres a dead therapist somewhere that can give him the help he needs. Because I too am attracted to Mr. Beetlejuice. (in a southern accent.) Oh I don't see anything -- Aah! Here goes nothing. We were told living people ignore the strange and unusual. Mom? We want to help you! Yes, I love that man of mine. (Charles and Delia try a Hi-five) Oh, so close! Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. LYDIA: The ghosts! ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY! Welcome to our model home. (ADAM and BARBARA scream as BARBARAs hand is on fire.). BEETLEJUICE: OH! Yup, thats the one. Except for you, Dead Mom. ILL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! Im going to find mom! BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? Beetlejuice DC Script - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. And that is why you need me! Lets get you finished! Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! You and me, were not that different. Mom! Lets spin the wheel. YOU CAN DIE TOGETHER! DELIA: Well, Im so happy for all of you. And he's to blame. See? Do you remember what I said? Lets find out! Do you want some lunch? Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! More about Lydia . LYDIA: YeahItd be terrible if we all let each other down, DELIA: (Rings Triangle.) Back off! LYDIA: The Netherworld? BEETLEJUICE: No, she did! LYDIA: What? Which does not come easy. BEETLEJUICE: Adam (dramatic pause.) Delia, that was just the wind. I wish I was dead! LYDIA: Hes the loneliest guy I know. I have something to say. CHARLES: Lydia, this is a good thing. I need to really live, really connect! BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS, THE MAITLANDS, CHOIR: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE. Leave this house! Im always prepared. I'm on the bench, but coach. So, what do you say? CHARLES: Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me. And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! BEETLEJUICE: There you go, kid. Were going to live here! I'm sure Dad will ruin it. Lydia: i can't change anything. Lydia, right now you are redirecting anger and deflecting pain and other terms I learned in my training. This is all very believable. Drink it, or throw it out! It's not about that. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . LYDIA: Beetlejuice, dont you get it? AH AH AH! Hes my white whale. Is this it? What are you talking about. LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. You smell like the bathrooms at the Mandarin Oriental. CHARLES: What? All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. BEETLEJUICE: Its a figure of speech Adam, okay? Puppet show!! (more chase.) frowns at the MUSIC. Stupid sheet!, (Ad lib.). LYDIA: Does it say anything about summonings or seances? Im so glad you could make it! Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. It's a gold mine! I WANT SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN, OR IM DONE TAKE ME WHERE MY SOUL CAN RUN, OR ILL BE IN MY BEDROOM WAKE ME WHEN IM TWENTY-ONE, WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME. Thats your answer for everything! IN THE WORLD, BE PREPARED TO TAKE YOUR EGGS AND FREEZE 'EM , DELIA: 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS, LYDIA: SOUNDS LIKE TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN. Maxie Dean will be here for dinner in two days. But what if it doesnt last? Alex Brightman and Sophia Anne Caruso in "Beetlejuice." Matthew Murphy. I am positive I quoted my guru Otho who said Sadness is like kale salad. DELIA: Knock Knock! BEETLEJUICE: Well then you have to learn how to scare them! BEETLEJUICE: Exorcism. Now we both got Dead Moms! (DELIA and CHARLES make out on the table.). Theyre the real villains of this show. I love old books. She needs stability. I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. It's our house now, kid! From an outfit standpoint, her clothes launched the mood boards of many goth girls. BEETLEJUICE: And I know that now. Can everybody see me? Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wild "ghost with the most" from the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. Take a look at our library of free monologues . she utters this indignant monologue. If this house is haunted, then that means mom might still be back at our old house! BARBARA: WE'LL RATTLE CHAINS AND I DON'T KNOW! Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. BARBARA: THEN THERE'S THE WHOLE DARN ECONOMY, ADAM AND BARBARA: READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP. ADAM: Do you mean us? LYDIA: Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with. BEETLEJUICE: Ugh, holy moly, a lot of people come to this house, lights! The doubts his . New phone, who dis? Oh father dear! CHARLES: And, she wanted my blessing. LYDIA: What? BEETLEJUICE: (snaps fingers and the Sandworm attacks) Thats why not! LYDIA: He doesnt see me either. CHARLES: Delia Schlimmer, will you do me the honor of signing a prenuptial agreement and be my second wife? Shes impossible. If requested, here are a few audition monologues for Beetlejuice: "MacKenzie #1" in Audition Arsenal for Men in Their 20s . BEETLEJUICE: Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. Now, heres the plan; I cant make the living say my name, but with a little help from me, those newlydeads can. Trust me, its going to get weird, but itll work. BARBARA: I know. The ghost-with-the-most comes to the stage in this edgy and irreverent musical comedy based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film. If I had known. LYDIA: Yeah, you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart and then didnt eat because there was obviously something wrong with it, so it just rotted in the hot African sun. Where do books go when they die? Well, I dont know, book. BEETLEJUICE: NO! LYDIA: What's goin' on, Delia? 123! In a haunted house, all alone! I can no longer stand to be used like a puppet between two deceitful worlds. DELIA: Dont worry Otho, well put you in the Soulbox! By the time you read this note. Live a life of love! Theyre chasing me! Im not going anywhere! LYDIA: The ghosts who live here want you gone! 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beetlejuice musical monologue lydia
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